margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
