Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize