yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
