dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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