Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
