What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
