Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
