i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
