she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Found the puke drawer
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
