Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
