Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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