Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
