If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
