Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize