i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
