just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
