apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
