Yo dont text me then not text me
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
