I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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