Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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