HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
