im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Im part way to drunk.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
