it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
