Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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