Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
