i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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