its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
