my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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