She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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