the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i think i just lost a toe
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
