carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
