you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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