Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Don't make out with my wife yet
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We don't watch enough power rangers
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
