I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I want a musical about memes.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
