I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's blow job season.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
