Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I need moral support for this bender
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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