I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
