5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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