Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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