she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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