What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
