Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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