She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There r osticjed everywhere
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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