So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
