I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
