If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
