Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
