you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
