Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
