I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
