Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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