Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
