i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
