some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
