dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
