So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
