I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
