At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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