So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
