this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
